sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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