When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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