i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
