Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
