porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
