a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize