ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
