Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
