Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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