I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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