yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
