So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
