I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
