I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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