i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There are leaves in my underwear?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
