I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I understand Curling. That high.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
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