That's intense
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
