apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
