Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
