HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
