he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
