thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
