also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My day in three words: secret purse cake
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
