Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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