is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
