he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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