Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
