i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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