Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
