M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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