I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
