what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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