What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
