found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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