yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
