Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
