i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
