party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
