my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
