No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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