Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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