you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
