dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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