Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
