you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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