five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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