We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
