I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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