More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
