I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
