i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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