I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
