your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
