i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
