did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The feeling are messing with the penis
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
