party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
