Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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